24 George Carlin Quotes-George Carlin was a stand-up comedian, author, actor and social critic from the U.S. He was one of the most influential stand-up comedians and recognized for his black comedy, as well as thoughts on religion, psychology, politics, English, and many taboo subjects. To this day, countless comedians are still influenced by Carlin. Let the following George Carlin Quotes influence you.
24 George Carlin Quotes
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” George Carlin
“A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.” George Carlin
“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” George Carlin
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” George Carlin
“Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.” George Carlin
“Everyone smiles in the same language.” George Carlin
“Everything beeps now.” George Carlin
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.” George Carlin
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin
‘”I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?” George Carlin
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” George Carlin
“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.” George Carlin
“If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?” George Carlin
“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.” George Carlin
“Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.” George Carlin
“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” George Carlin
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” George Carlin
“Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn’t work.” George Carlin
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.” George Carlin
“Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.” George Carlin
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky.” George Carlin
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.” George Carlin
“The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.” George Carlin
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.” George Carlin
This is true. When we are stuck behind a slow(er) driver (than us), we tend to get irritable and want them to speed up. Likewise, when we are driving down the highway and someone flies by us, we assume that they are crazy for driving so fast. We are so judgemental of what those around us do when it is different from us. We need to take a step back and stop criticizing others, especially when it has no effect on us whatsoever.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
The universe is huge. It is the largest thing… ever. Imagine we are the only living creatures in the entire universe; that would be rather impressive considering how huge it is. It is the same for humans. Many people don’t think they are capable of achieving great things, so they set small goals and settle for less than they are capable of. You are full of potential, so dream big and set your standards high!
Enjoy yourself with these quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin was a wise, funny, outspoken man. He passed away at the age of 71 due to heart failure. He was cremated and the remains were scattered in front of nightclubs he had played at in New York City, as well as in New Hampshire at a summer camp he attended as a teen. This goes to show how much he loved what he did. Though these George Carlin Quotes are humorous, they also have a deeper meaning.