Sarcastic Quotes-Being sarcastic is not at all wrong, but being sarcastic in a wrong way is surely a wrong thing. When it comes to sarcasm it is nothing but spontaneous humor. Only a few people are blessed with positive and healthy sarcasm. You can find many funny Sarcastic Quotes on the internet now days. Sarcasm may hurt a person or lit up someone’s mood in a good way.
People who are quiet in nature can also be sarcastic, it has nothing to do with how a person is usually. For few people sarcasm is like speaking they are as fluent as speaking their native language in sarcasm, but for others, it’s a never happening thing. Even though they try they can’t get that humor aspect in it. The main aim of sarcasm is to convey something in a funny manner without hurting people’s emotions and it may be a fact.
Here is a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip
This is a way of telling someone to stop speaking shit in a sarcastic manner, this directly strikes on to the person to whom we want to convey the meaning and make them think of what are they exactly blabbering about. This surely helps us to make them keep quiet. Have a try once.
Top Sarcastic Quotes
“Excuse Me, I Know This Is Hell, but May I Ask Which Floor?”
“Don’t Take My Insults Seriously. I’m Just Being Sarcastic”.
“People Are Prisoners of Their Phone… That’s Why It’s Called a “cell Phone.”
“People Kept Saying ‘go Corona Go’ and It Went to Other Countries to Spread Across the Globe”.
“The Only Mystery in Life Is Why the Kamikaze Pilots Wore Helmets.”
“A Lot of People Are Afraid of Heights. Not Me, I’m Afraid of Widths .”
“There’s No Better Vacation Than My Boss Being on Vacation.”
“I’m Such a Good Lover Because I Practice a Lot on My Own”.
“A Man in Love Is Incomplete Until He Has Married. Then He’s Finished”.
“If You’re Going to Tell People the Truth, Be Funny or They’ll Kill You “.
“If a Book About Failures Doesn’t Sell, Is It a Success?”
“Marriage Is Like Mushrooms: We Notice Too Late if They Are Good or Bad.”
“I Didn’t Fail the Test. I Just Found 100 Ways to Do It Wrong.”
“A Mind Is Like a Parachute. It Doesn’t Work if It Is Not Open.”
“To Steal Ideas From One Person Is Plagiarism; to Steal From Many Is Research.”
“The Road to Success Is Always Under Construction.”
“Always Borrow Money From a Pessimist. He Won’t Expect It Back.”
“If There’s Trouble Wherever You Go, Then Guess What?”
“Me Pretending to Listen Should Be Enough for You.”
“Tact Is for People Who Aren’t Witty Enough to Use Sarcasm.”
“You’re Not That Lucky and I’m Not That Desperate”!
“You sound better with your mouth closed.”
“I Thought I Had Seen the Pinnacle of Stupid… Then I Met You.”
“On the Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.”
“I may Look Calm But in my Mind I’ve Killed you Three Times”.
“I’m Not Always Rude and Sarcastic. Sometimes I’m Asleep.”
“Sometimes, My Family Becomes the Strangest Family on Earth.”
“In My Family, Crazy Doesn’t Skip a Generation.”
“True Bonding Is When You and Your Friends Are All Angry About the Same Thing.”
“Fate Chooses Our Relatives, We Choose Our Friends.”
“No One Likes Change but Babies in Diapers.”
“The Whiskey Tastes Like I’m About to Tell You How I Really Feel.”
“I Became Insane With Long Periods Intervals of Horrible Sanity.”
“We Always Hold Hands. If I Let Go, She Shops”.
“I Think I Finally Found my Spirit Plant.”
“You Couldn’t Handle Me Even if I Came With Instructions .”
“Oh… I Didn’t Tell You… Then It Must Be None of Your Business.”
“Tact Is for People Who Aren’t Witty Enough to Use Sarcasm”.
“You’re Not That Lucky and I’m Not That Desperate!”
“I’m Smiling…that Alone Should Scare You.”
“You sound better with your mouth closed.”
“I Thought I Had Seen the Pinnacle of Stupid… Then I Met You.”
“If I Promise to Miss You, Will You Go Away?”
“On the Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.”
“I may Look Calm But in my Mind I’ve Killed you Three Times.”
“I’m Not Always Rude and Sarcastic. Sometimes I’m Asleep.”
“Posterity Is the Patriotic Name for Grandchildren.”
“Sometimes, My Family Becomes the Strangest Family on Earth.”
“I Had No Blood Relatives Til I Made Some.”
“In My Family, Crazy Doesn’t Skip a Generation.”
“True Bonding Is When You and Your Friends Are All Angry About the Same Thing.”
“Fate Chooses Our Relatives, We Choose Our Friends.”
“No One Likes Change but Babies in Diapers.”
“The Whiskey Tastes Like I’m About to Tell You How I Really Feel .”
“I Became Insane With Long Periods Intervals of Horrible Sanity .”
“I Was Married by a Judge. I Should Have Asked for a Jury.”
“I Think I Finally Found my Spirit Plant.”
“You Couldn’t Handle Me Even if I Came With Instructions.”
“You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Talk to Me.”
“I just Rolled my Eyes So Hard I Saw my Brain.”
“You’re Just Like Math I Hate Math.”
“If You Don’t Believe in Ghosts, You’ve Never Been to a Family Reunion.”
“Unless Your Name Is Google Stop Acting Like You Know Everything”.
“Not my Circus not my Monkeys But I Definitely know the Clowns.”
“Being Part of a Family Means Smiling for Photos.”
“Well, at Least Your Mom Thinks You’re Pretty…”
“People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day.”
“If You Must Make a Noise, Make It Quietly .”
“I Send Pointless Emails Late at Night to Impress Coworkers”.
“Sometimes I Look at People and think Really Thats the Sperm that Won.”
“Sarcasm Is the Secret Language That Everyone Uses When They Want to Say Something Mean to Your Face.”
“Please Submit Your Ideas to Me Today So I Can Submit Them as My Own Tomorrow.”
“Having Children Makes You No More a Parent Than Having a Piano Makes You a Pianist.”
“Me Pretending to Listen Should Be Enough for You .”
“Oh… I Didn’t Tell You… Then It Must Be None of Your Business”.
“Tact Is for People Who Aren’t Witty Enough to Use Sarcasm.”
“You’re Not That Lucky and I’m Not That Desperate!”
“I’m Smiling…that Alone Should Scare You.”
“You sound better with your mouth closed”.
“I Thought I Had Seen the Pinnacle of Stupid… Then I Met You”.
“On the Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers .”
“I may Look Calm But in my Mind I’ve Killed you Three Times.”
“I’m Not Always Rude and Sarcastic. Sometimes I’m Asleep .”
“Posterity Is the Patriotic Name for Grandchildren”.
“Sometimes, My Family Becomes the Strangest Family on Earth.”
“I Had No Blood Relatives Til I Made Some.”
“In My Family, Crazy Doesn’t Skip a Generation .”
“True Bonding Is When You and Your Friends Are All Angry About the Same Thing.”
“Fate Chooses Our Relatives, We Choose Our Friends.”
“No One Likes Change but Babies in Diapers.”
“The Whiskey Tastes Like I’m About to Tell You How I Really Feel .”
“I Became Insane With Long Periods Intervals of Horrible Sanity .”
“I Was Married by a Judge. I Should Have Asked for a Jury.”
“We Always Hold Hands. If I Let Go, She Shops.”
“I Think I Finally Found my Spirit Plant.”
“You Couldn’t Handle Me Even if I Came With Instructions.”
“You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Talk to Me.”
“I just Rolled my Eyes So Hard I Saw my Brain.”
“If You Don’t Believe in Ghosts, You’ve Never Been to a Family Reunion .”
“Well, at Least Your Mom Thinks You’re Pretty…”
“People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day”.
“If You Must Make a Noise, Make It Quietly .”
“I Send Pointless Emails Late at Night to Impress Coworkers.”
“Sometimes I Look at People and think Really Thats the Sperm that Won.”
“Sarcasm Is the Secret Language That Everyone Uses When They Want to Say Something Mean to Your Face.”
“From the Bottom of my Heart – I Don’t Give A Fuck.”
“Please Submit Your Ideas to Me Today So I Can Submit Them as My Own Tomorrow.”
“Having Children Makes You No More a Parent Than Having a Piano Makes You a Pianist.”
“Voices Only Talk to Me.”
“I just Rolled my Eyes So Hard I Saw my Brain”.
“If You Don’t Believe in Ghosts, You’ve Never Been to a Family Reunion ”
“Unless Your Name Is Google Stop Acting Like You Know Everything.”
“Not my Circus not my Monkeys But I Definitely know the Clowns”.
“People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day”.
“If You Must Make a Noise, Make It Quietly .”
“I Send Pointless Emails Late at Night to Impress Coworkers.”
“Sometimes I Look at People and think Really Thats the Sperm that Won.”
“Sarcasm Is the Secret Language That Everyone Uses When They Want to Say Something Mean to Your Face.”
“From the Bottom of my Heart – I Don’t Give A Fuck”
“Please Submit Your Ideas to Me Today So I Can Submit Them as My Own Tomorrow”.
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”
“It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
“You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”
“Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”
“If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”
“I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”
“Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”
“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
“If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”
“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”
“If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
“I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”
“I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”
“I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”
“Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
“Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”
“Find your patience before I lose mine.”
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”
“Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”
“Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
“Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”
“I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
“Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”
“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”
“People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
“My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”
“Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”
“Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.”
“Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”
“My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”
“Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”
“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”
“I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”
“Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”
“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”
“I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
“That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.”
“Life’s good, you should get one.”
“No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!”
“I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
“Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”
“Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”
“I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…”
“Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”
“Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”
“If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.”
“Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”
“Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”
“Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?”
“You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”
“If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”
“Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”
“You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”
“Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.”
“I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”
“Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”
“Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”
“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”
“Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!”
“My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.”
“If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”
“You sound better with your mouth closed.”
“If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.”
“I’m smiling… that alone should scare you.”
“If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”
“If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”
“I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”
“Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.”
Zombies eat brains, you are safe
How funny is this saying? Yes, it is a humorous way of telling people that they don’t have the brain and they are safe from zombies. It’s both like giving them conclusion and saying them the truth at the same time in a funny way by not hurting them by their emotions or any other thing.
Unless your name is Google stop acting as you know everything
This applies to many of them in this generation as each person on this earth act as if they know each and everything about what is going on. This really irritates people who are trying to tell them something. Like how a person can just say I know for everything, there must surely be something for which they should even learn saying I don’t know, if we have a friend like this then we must surely try this sarcastic phrase.